Movie Review: Avatar

More Like Avatard

Author: Timmie

(Originally posted on The Media Minx )

Yes I’m sorry everyone. I went there. I know that this movie won some bullshit awards recently and it’s super popular right now, but seriously James Cameron? Is that the best you can do? You had over a decade to work on this and Avatar is what you have to show for it?
As for the awards, the only thing that makes sense to me is that the entire Golden Globe committee was made up of Avatars…all controlled by James Cameron. Either that or they were just too amazed by the 3D special effects (the only plus side to this movie) that they didn’t notice the plot.

Yes that’s right. I admit that that it looked cool. But that’s not a reason to give it best picture of anything. I’ve seen a lot of movies in the last year, and almost all of them were better than Avatar. The fact that a movie has good effects and animation does not automatically make it a good movie!

One might ask, “what the hell is your problem with this great movie minx?”

Well dear reader…sooo many things. If I took the time to name everything wrong with this movie, I’d be writing for like two days, so I’m going to break it down into just a couple major categories.

  1. This movie takes no risks whatsoever. It’s so clear that Cameron was only trying to appeal to the masses. There is literally nothing clever in this entire film.
    Example a: The freakin planet is called Pandora!!!!! Really??? Really?? It’s not like we want to hit anyone over the head with anything here.
    Example b: What are these people mining? Oh a little something called unobtanium. Do I really need to say anything else about this? I mean I don’t know what we’d do if anyone in the audience actually had to think…ever!

The only thing that’s even a little edgy is the fact that the main character is in a wheelchair…which of course they barely dwell on. Not to mention he’s in his avatar body for most of the movie. You rarely have to deal with the fact that he can’t walk.

Any moments that might possibly evoke some kind of real emotion from a character are cut off just as fast as they appear. Again it’s important to remember that we don’t want to offend anyone.

  1. This movie is rampant with racism. It’s supposed to be about saving an indigenous people, but it’s important to notice that they can’t possibly save themselves. Not in Cameron’s world anyway. In the end it isn’t an actual Na’vi that saves the world from the evil nondescript corporations…it’s the white guy in a Na’vi suit. Everyone knows that any culture outside of America is incapable of protecting and or saving themselves.

Also the actors playing the various Na’vi characters were riddled with just anyone…as long as they were not WASPs. I’m pretty sure that the casting call just said “Open casting for any and all minority groups, cause let’s face it…you people are all the same.” Honestly I’m surprised that Antonio Banderas didn’t make an appearance. Sidebar…did you notice that the guy from Last of the Mohicans, Magua, was the chief? He rocks.

James Horner clearly took snippets from any stereotypical “multicultural” music that he had just lying around the house, pasted them together and handed it in. Again it goes back to not taking any risks at all. It would have been so much more interesting to have a unique sound. After all, this is supposed to be a brand new world. Apparently they have Audacity and Sibelius on Pandora. Maybe they can download it directly through their ponytails and cut and paste the clips right there to make a mashup.

Honestly if this movie had not been so hyped up, I may have thought it was ok. But if I had worked for more than ten years on one project and this is all I produced, I would be ashamed. At it’s very best it’s an average movie with cutting edge special effects. If someone gave me over 300 million dollars to make a film I think I would try to make it a little more interesting.

Bottom Line: Looks are not everything in a movie. If this is going to be the new trend in movies then I don’t want to be a part of it. The plot is lame, the acting is two dimensional, and there is nothing emotional to cling to. A hint from the media minx to you James Cameron…stick to what you know aka stories about white people.

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